


Knock First

by RisingPhoenix761



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Crush, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crowley reads fanfiction, Embarrassment, Gen, Masturbation, Mild Language, Second-Hand Embarrassment, bad timing, kinda nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2019-08-06 10:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16386143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RisingPhoenix761/pseuds/RisingPhoenix761
Summary: You just wanted to relax, but Crowley has the worst timing ever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as part of a challenge on Tumblr, is my first reader insert, and first round of writing Crowley. I had fun with it, and I hope you do too. Tell me what you think!

You were tired, sore, and filthy by the time you got back to the motel. You, Sam and Dean had been on the case for about a week, tracking a group of vampires that had been feeding on a small town in Nebraska, finally cornering them at their nest. Taking them out had been a challenge but nothing the three of you couldn't handle, although you could have done without Dean decapitating the last one with a swing that sent blood and gore arcing along the blade of his machete and splattering all over you.

Gross.

Needless to say, you decided to pass on the boys' suggestion to go out and celebrate another case closed and another monster wiped off the slate. They might prefer to wind down with a drink and an occasional hookup, but you? A hot shower and some alone time took the cake. Even better, you'd managed to get your own room this time instead of the three of you sharing.

Dropping your bag inside the door and fastening the chain and bolt, you immediately kicked off your boots and tossed your jacket onto the bed, making your way to the bathroom and stripping out of your bloody clothes as you went. You spent enough time in the shower to get clean three times over, letting the hot water melt away the knots in your sore muscles and taking the time to relax. There wasn't anything comfortable about the life of a hunter, but you had made it clear long ago that bathing was "you time." Sam and Dean respected it thus far...they knew better than to argue with you.

The tiny bathroom was so full of steam by the time you turned off the water that you almost couldn't see the outline of the door. You wrapped one of the towels around your body and the other around your hair (it was sadistic, the way the people running these places expected guests to use their tiny, _tiny_ towels) and left the bathroom, shivering slightly as the cooler air in the main room hit you.

You toweled off your hair as you dug through your bag for your pajamas, a baggy t-shirt and flannel shorts. Worn and faded, but comfy, and perfect for relaxing. You put them on and got into bed, planning on watching some cable before falling asleep. After channel surfing for a few minutes, though, you decided you weren't in the mood for TV, and your mind went to what was stashed in your bag under your clothes, where the boys weren't likely to find it.

You got out of bed and fetched the vibrator out of your bag before sliding back under the blankets. If alone time was your preferred way to unwind, then "alone time" was your favorite. You shimmied out of your shorts and turned on the vibrator, closing your eyes and letting the sensations start to build. Higher...higher...nearly there... _nearly_ _there..._

"So, any luck with that nest, or--"

You shrieked with fright and frustration, sitting bolt upright and dropping the toy. _"_ _Crowley!"_

The demon stood at the foot of the bed, having teleported into your room and completely unaware what you might be up to. He took one look at you, under the blankets and looking mortified, and he put two and two together. "Well," he said casually, "this is awkward."

"What the hell!" you burst out, making no effort to get out from under the covers. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking in, making sure that you, Moose, and Squirrel aren't a three-course meal for a nest of vampires," he replied, looking entirely too unconcerned with the situation and nowhere as uncomfortable as you felt. "Looks like I came at a bad time. Well, maybe _I_ didn't, but--"

"Get the hell out of here!"

There was a crash as the door to your room came flying open, the chain and the deadbolt ripped out at the screws, and Sam and Dean rushed in, guns and machetes in hand. "Are you okay?" Dean asked, searching the room for a threat. "We heard you outside and--" He froze, seeing Crowley standing nearby. "Dude, what the hell? What are _you_ doing _here?"_

He spread his hands in a good play of innocence. "Can't I pop in to say hello to friends?" he asked. "Don't you trust me?"

"No," Sam and Dean answered together.

"Wait," Sam added, listening. "Do you hear that?"

The room went quiet and you felt your face heat as the low, steady buzzing of the still-running vibrator, fallen to the floor, sounded clearly in the silence.

The confusion slid off the brothers' faces like butter over a hot skillet, replaced with embarrassment and, in Dean's case, a little amusement. "Is that...what I think it is?" Sam asked delicately.

"Oh my God..." you groaned, leaning over the side of the bed and reaching for the toy, wanting to crawl under the bed and hide for eternity.

"Honestly, boys, have you no sense of decorum?" Crowley asked. "Barging into a lady's room unannounced? You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"Are you serious?" you demanded, sitting back up to stare at him. "And since when is your 'popping in' ever _not_ unannounced?"

"Oh, sure, it's cute when the angel does it, but any other time it's--"

"Just go away, for the love of God!"

"Fine, fine, I'll come back later...and by the by, darling, if you ever need company, I'm more than happy to assist you, no strings attached--"

"GET OUT!" you and the boys shouted.

Crowley shrugged and vanished.

Avoiding anyone's eye, you reached back to the floor and picked up the vibrator, switching it off and tucking it out of sight under the blankets. "So, um..." you said, looking anywhere but at the two men, "I'm gonna...I'm gonna get dressed, go out and find myself a big enough bottle of booze to drown myself in, and we're never speaking of this again. Cool?"

"Cool," Sam agreed.

Dean nodded. "Sure thing. But..." Damn him, you could _hear_ the stupid grin in his voice, "don't you think you should pick up some extra batteries while you're out, just in case?"

You threw a pillow at his head. So much for relaxing...


	2. Chapter 2

It was slightly awkward facing the boys again the next morning, but apart from Dean’s sly smile when he asked how your night went, neither of them mentioned the previous night’s incident. The three of you piled into the Impala and started the long trip back to the bunker, and when you stopped at another motel for the night, your vibrator stayed in your bag out of sight.

It was blissfully quiet when you got back home, the three of you settling into your normal routines outside of hunting. Dean alternated between quality time with Baby and reruns of  _Dr. Sexy, M.D._ , Sam caught up on reading that had nothing to do with research, and you spent most of your time in your room, eating junk food and binging on the latest  _Supernatural_  fan fiction. Another pastime you kept on the down low from Sam and Dean, though picturing the looks on their faces if they ever read any of the stuff themselves kept you amused.

You were halfway through the newest AU when your phone buzzed with an incoming text and the message appeared at the top of your screen.

_C: Mind if I pop in?_

You thought about it for a moment, then typed your reply.  _What? You’re asking permission?_

_C: Just being polite, princess._

_Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that?_

_C: I assure you, our last face-to-face was as embarrassing for me as it was for you._

_Somehow, Crowley, I don’t believe you._

_C: You wound me. Truly._

_You’ll get over it._

_C: You still haven’t answered my polite question, and I’m still politely waiting to hear yes or no._

You heaved a sigh, then typed,  _Fine. Whatever._

The message barely read as “sent” before he appeared, and you gave him an exasperated look. “What do you want?”

He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “So much hostility. Am I interrupting? Again?”

“No,” you replied, “but you can’t blame me for being annoyed.”

He shrugged. “Honestly, love, a simple mistake. Had I known what you were up to, I would have–”

“Offered to join me?” you interrupted.

You had to say, that’s probably what got under your skin the most. Not that Crowley showed up in the middle of your solo session, completely cheating you of what would have been an  _amazing_  orgasm, but that he came onto you so offhandedly right after. You were used to his innuendos and often had to hold in your laughter when he used them on Sam, Dean, and Cas, but he never tried any of it on you. Well, he never tried  _before._

You had known Crowley almost as long as the boys, when after joining forces on a hunt you collectively decided riding  together wasn’t a bad idea. For all they had to do with him, neither Sam nor Dean trusted him any farther than they could throw him, and you had to admit they had their reasons. He wasn’t just a demon, he was the frigging King of Hell. You had always gotten along pretty well with him, though, and he actually seemed to like you. At the very least, he was never anything but courteous to you, and definitely didn’t antagonize you like he did the boys.

It sucked on all counts, really. Not only were you embarrassed to the point of wanting to leave the country, but Crowley had to go and be an ass about it. The only thing that could have made it worse was if he knew you were fantasizing about him while you were pleasuring yourself.

Your stupid, ridiculous, completely insane crush on their frequent nemesis. Something else not to tell Sam and Dean about.

“Had I known,” he pressed on, “I would naturally have chosen to inconvenience Rocky and Bullwinkle and let you carry on in peace. I’m a gentleman, after all.”

“Really,” you responded skeptically. “And what about your parting shot?”

Were you seeing things, or did he actually look uncomfortable? You had never known him to be anything but confident to the point of arrogance. “As I said, love. It was as embarrassing for me as it was for you. Not my finest moment, I admit.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And water is wet, darling. What else is new.”

_I’ve liked you for a while now, so I’m clearly off my frigging rocker. Also, your cologne is fantastic, where did you get it?_

You  _could_  blurt it out, you reasoned, if only to see the look on his face, but fat chance it would end in anything other than more embarrassment for both of you, and in that case why bother?

Heaving a sigh, you asked again, “What do you want? You’ve got a kingdom to run, but you’re here instead, so…”

He lost the awkward look, though he carelessly glanced around your room rather than look at you. “I was wondering if you’re free this evening,” he said. “It seems I need some research done, and I haven’t the time or the patience for it, so perhaps you’d be so kind?”

You stared at him and repeated, “Research.”

He nodded.

“You made it a point to ask to come over because you want me to do research.”

“You make it sound like I have an ulterior motive.”

“When do you not?”

He sighed. “You’re too smart for me, love. I confess. I’m here to renounce my ways, pledge my loyalty to Moose and Squirrel, and help exterminate demonkind.”

“Really?”

“No.”

You rolled your eyes. “Either way, I’m on down time,” you replied, looking back at your phone. “I’m not researching anything tonight.”

“Have a heart, darling. Do a friend a favor.”

You sighed and glanced up at him. “How important is it?”

He stared back, looking as serious as you had ever seen him. “Very.”

“Hmm. Okay.” You looked away again. “Text it to me in the morning, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Oh, for the love of–stop teasing me so much,” he implored, crossing to where you lounged on your bed.“What could you possibly be doing that’s so urgent–”

“Nothing,” you argued, holding your phone away from his reaching hand. “That’s why it’s called down time, which some of us take seriously–”

“It’s not going to take long,” he insisted, still grabbing for the phone “just a few minutes–”

“Then it can wait until tomorrow!”

He snapped his fingers and the phone vanished from your hand, reappearing in his. You snatched at it frantically, trying to get it back before he saw anything incriminating. The last thing you wanted was more cause to be embarrassed.

“What’s this?” he asked, frowning slightly as he tried to read the phone and hold it out of your reach at the same time.

“Nothing!” you insisted. If you could at least turn off the damn screen…

“Hang on…”

“Crowley, give me my phone or I swear to God–”

“I’ve read this one.”

You froze, gobsmacked. “You  _what?_ ”

“Well, maybe not  _this_  one, exactly,” he added, “but I know the series.”

Your hand fell back to your side and you gave up trying to reach your phone, too surprised by his revelation. “You read fan fiction?” you asked.

He looked down at you with a haughty expression. “Is there a reason why I wouldn’t?”

“I…I guess not…” you replied.

“Didn’t peg  _you_  as the type, though,” he went on, looking back at the phone and scrolling to the top of the page where your username was displayed. “I always saw you as the outdoorsy kind. What do you have bookmarked–”

“Crowley.” You managed to snatch the phone back and quickly locked the screen. “You were here about research.”

He nodded slowly and looked at you again, seeming to think it over before saying, “It can wait until tomorrow, I suppose. I’ll get back to you in the morning.”

“Wait, you’re serious?” you asked. “Five minutes ago, you were practically begging.”

“I never beg. I simply prefer it when you’re cooperative, and it’s worthwhile to keep you that way.”

“So, let me get this straight. I’m going to spend the night wasting time reading fic about my friends instead of doing your all-important research, and you’re not going to argue about it?”

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted,” he answered. “Besides, I should let you finish  _something_ , am I right?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, but there was nothing in his tone or manner suggesting he was trying to provoke you. “That’s considerate of you…”

He shrugged. “I’m a decent guy, love. Well, some of the time.” One final nod, and he added, “Enjoy your night.” And he was gone.

Your phone went off a few moments later with a new message, and you opened it to see Crowley’s proposed research…and a few links that turned out to be more fan fiction, with the words,  _A peace offering._

You couldn’t help but smile, the incident at the motel forgiven. Though you  _really_  hoped he didn’t remember your account name.


End file.
